Down In Front™: WALL-E

Hey folks! Welcome to another Andy Rash Down In Front™! Why go through the trouble of long lines and butter substitutes when you can let me do it for you? WHY?

Today, I review Pixar's latest animated feature WALL-E! This is a momentous occasion, because this marks the very first Down In Front™ positive review!

The first half of WALL-E is the best first half of a movie you will see this year. Visually stunning, melancholy, and absolutely marvelous, gutsy filmmaking. The main character is a trash-compacting robot who has been abandoned on a filthy, dead Earth. An egg-shaped life-probe robot named Eve arrives from outer space, and WALL-E falls in love. No one speaks in this movie for a very long time, and when someone finally does, the dialogue is restricted to the words "WALL-E," "EVE" and "directive." This is an amazing romantic comedy. Amazing.

Then the second half of the movie starts. Suddenly, we are asked to care about human beings and plants instead of these two robots. And we don't. Don't get me wrong, the second half of this movie is very enjoyable, gorgeously designed, probably one of the top second halves of a movie you'll see this year, and well up to Pixar's normal excellent standard. But the extraordinary promise of the first half of the movie is unfulfilled. But see it anyway. SEE IT.

Well, that's all for today. Until next time, I'll see you at the movies, Down In Front!™

What am I DOING?

Thanks for asking! This week, I've been redesigning my web site. 

http://www.rashworks.com

There, you can see a lot of new work, and some old stuff. You can click on the blog link and view the blog you're reading right now, and then you can click on the web site link and then click on the blog link again. Like a circle in a spiral.

Also, I'm looking at proofs for a Write & Wipe Activity Book from Peaceable Kingdom Press based on my book Agent A to Agent Z. This thing is really cool! It's shaped like a briefcase and you get two pens and a rag to wipe off the laminated pages that have secret codes and mazes and games. It should be in stores in January. 

Also, I'm looking at proofs for Are You a Horse, which is a new picture book of mine due out early next year.

Also, I'm continuing work on illustrations for Superhero School, which is a really funny book written by Aaron Reynolds due out next year.

Also, I'm working on a game prototype. The details are hush-hush for now, but I'll be sure to tell you all about it later. I'm really excited about it.

Also, I'm working on a TV pitch based on Agent A to Agent Z.

Also, I'm starting up a possible chapter book about adventures in outer space. I'm not used to writing long format stuff, so this one is still a bit sketchy.

Also, I'm working on a couple picture book ideas. One of them has to do with a symphony orchestra made up of animals. A couple character designs are up on the blog already (see above). 

Also, I'm doing illustration work for the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal and a handful of other magazines and newspapers.  

Also, I'm planning a camping trip.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

New Web Site!

Hey everybody. My new web site design is on the internet and ready to be viewed! Please spellcheck it for me. Hope you like what you see! 

http://www.rashworks.com/

Wonk Wunk Wonk

Wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk wunk wonk....

Down in Front™: Get Smart!

In conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security™, Andy Rash Down in Front™ surveils every major movie studio (and Dreamworks!) for all the latest buzz (and commie infiltration) about your favorite movies before they hit the big screen. Let's have a look at the initial pitch meeting that was the seed which germinated into the summer blockbuster Get Smart! 

Interior Studio Office. 

Producer: I've got a great all new project!

Executive: I love it! What is it?

Producer: It's a remake of the 1960's tv show Get Smart!

Executive: I love it! What was that?

Producer: It was a show about a pompous bumbling secret agent who somehow manages to save the day despite being a complete moron!

Executive: I love it! Who are the stars?

Producer: Steve Carell is Maxwell Smart! Nobody does bumbling fool like Steve Carell!

Executive: I love it! But what if he wasn't a bumbling fool?

Producer: What?

Executive: Picture this: Maxwell Smart as a highly competent secret agent. He's skillful, soulful and romantic!

Producer: Well, okay, but Maxwell Smart is really sort of a...

Executive: Romantic guy, I know. Who's the love interest? I know! Anne Hathaway!

Producer: But she's 23 years younger than Steve Carell!

Executive: Exactly! We'll get the kids in the seats!

Producer: She is literally half his age.

Executive: So what? She's a spy, right? We'll write it in that she had plastic surgery to make herself look younger! If she's supposedly as old as him, we can throw in a lot of biological clock jokes! 

Producer: Who likes biological clock jokes?

Executive: Little kids, women, everybody! We'll get good writers who can treat biological clock jokes with sensitivity. Nancy, get me those writers from Titus in the horn.

Nancy: Right away, sir.

Executive: I'm thinking this movie needs some gravitas! Terence Stamp can be the bad guy!

Producer: Is Terence Stamp funny?

Executive: No, and that's the point! Kids today don't go to a Get Smart movie for laughs! They want action!

Producer: So this isn't a comedy anymore?

Nancy: Sir, I have Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember on the line.

Executive: Who the hell is that?

Nancy: The writers from Titus.

Executive: Oh yeah! Put em on.

Tom: Hey douche!

Matt: Hey douche!

Executive: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh! Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahaha! These guys are great!

Tom: Nancy told us what you're working on, and we have one word for you: wounds.

Executive: I'm listening....

Matt: Remember the Three Stooges and how frustrating it was that when they attacked each other it never leaves a mark? 

Executive: The Three Who?

Producer: I don't want wounds.

Executive: Who're we gonna get to direct this puppy?

Tom: Don't ask me, douche!

Matt: Yeah, douche!

Executive: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha! I know a guy who did a great job with some Tom Arnold stand up specials. We'll get him.

Producer: Can I cast Alan Arkin and Bill Murray?

Executive: I love it! As long as you don't make them do anything funny.

Producer: So nothing funny can happen?

Executive: Shoot some funny stuff if you want and we'll use it for the trailers. But make sure you cut out all the funny stuff for the actual movie. This is a serious picture.

Our equipment failed at that point, but isn't it exciting to get even a little glimpse at the creative process in Hollywood? I think so, and it's my opinion that counts! That's all for now.

Until next time, I'll see you at the movies, Down in Front!™

Superhero School

Hi Folks! I've been working on a children's book by another author called Superhero School. There's a model of the school building on a previous entry. Above is the main character Leonard, both in his mild-mannered student phase and in his super suit. I think the moral of the book is that math is super, or something. Have a great weekend!

Oomp Oomp Oomp

Oomp Oomp Oomp!

Happy Birthday Michael!

Hey people. The image above is a detail from my first picture book The Robots are Coming. The kid is my best friend and next door neighbor Michael. Not a terribly flattering portrait, I'll admit, but he's in the book and there's nothing he can do about it now. Below, he is narrowly avoiding death by falling icicle impaling. Happy Birthday Michael!

Back to the Agents

Hey people. Here's another agent. Agent L's specialty os Lab Ops. He creates serums, analyzes strange chemicals, runs fingerprints, you know, CSI type stuff. He's got a very surly disposition and sounds like Lewis Black in my head. That's all for today!

Goodbye, Tim

Tim Russert (1950-2008)

Tim Russert was a part of my week, every week. My wife Jena and I always watched Meet the Press and the Tim Russert Show on MSNBC. Some people you never meet still make you feel so sad when they die too soon. Phil Hartman was someone like that for me, and so is Tim. Russert was such a likable fellow that politicians forgot to prepare for interviews with him. Tim was prepared, though, with quotes and voting records, transcripts and video tape, to catch a politician in a lie, an inconsistency, or a sidestep. He performed a real service in a field where few people do. I feel sick when I think of the upcoming weekend without him. Whenever I would turn on his show, Jena would greet him with a bright, happy "Hi, Tim!" and at the end of the hour she would always say "Bye, Tim!" as if a friend had actually come over to visit. We felt that way. I feel so bad for people who knew him, and for people like me and Jena, who were friends he didn't know.

Anywhere I Lay My Head

Hi everybody, and welcome to another brand new segment on the blog, Hooked on Quadrophonics™! And today we feature the debut vanity recording of cinema superstar of such classic films as Lost in Translation, and... uh... countless... hmmmm.

Now, it would be very easy for me to make fun of poor Scarlett Johansson for releasing an album of Tom Waits covers, so let's get right to it!

Some of you may be thinking that Scarlett has quite a deep speaking voice. Can she really sing? Not to worry! Producer Dave Sitek has cleverly recorded Miss Johansson's vocal tracks inside a submarine, from the other side of a secured bulkhead with some mattresses leaning against it. Also he seems to have put five or six white noise makers on full blast, laid a cinderblock on the keyboard of a pipe organ, and hired David Bowie to sing over the notes Scarlett really missed. 

Remember that milk-eyed Chinese guy who sold Hoyt Axton a Mogwai in Gremlins? Even he would be impressed with the bizarre collection of instruments on this record. Kalimba, Tibetan Bowls, Rainstick, Dog Bowl, Bowed Vibes, Bowed Cymbal, Wind Chimes, Music Box, and two musicians to play Nigerian Logs(?). 

But the real problem is the concept. Tom Waits, for the uninitiated, has had a persona of a grizzled, world-weary troubadour who sings songs about hookers and liquor. His song "I Don't Want To Grow Up" has a bit more playful irony when he sings it as a 58 year old than when Johansson does at 23. 

All in all, it's a bad idea, but a listenable bad idea, especially when Bowie manages to completely drown her out. I give it 4 plastic things you put in the middle of a 45 rpm record so it will play on a 33 rpm record spindle out of a possible 10 plastic things you put in the middle of a 45 rpm record so it will play on a 33 rpm record spindle! Until next time, stay hooked!

Strad Molted!

Hiya folks. I've been away visiting the family in Georgia with my wife, but when we got back we found out that Strad had taken advantage of his five days of privacy, and had molted! Here's a photo of his old shell.

Since then, he's been acting like he just took off a pair of tight dress shoes. As a matter of fact, let's watch him in action. Introducing Strad!

This Blog is Not What I Had in Mind!

Hey folks. First of all, here is an image I did last week for the New York Times. The gist of the article was that as bad as the federal economy is now, that's nothing compared to what it'll be like when the states roll out their new budgets next month. Seems the states have been propping up the federal economy so far, but now they need to roll back spending too. So more good news. 

Regarding the name of this post, I started this thing as sort of a portfolio web site with writing, but the writing has gotten weirder and weirder and I'm thinking I may need to start another blog with just artwork to send clients to. Thanks to everyone who commented about Down in Front™. That post got the most response by far, both on the blog and in emails. Expect more of those as soon as I actually see another movie. Also, thanks for the constructive criticism regarding my infographic primary coverage. Seems some irony is a bit too subtle for blog form. I kiss those posts a fond farewell. For the record, I believe there are plenty of good reasons not to like any of the presidential candidates which cannot be summed up in a simplistic character flaw. Of course it's easy for me to say that now that the sexists have won.

Agent H for TV

Hi folks. Here's another character design for Agent A to Agent Z for tv. This is Agent H. Her specialty is Hand to Hand Ops. Also foot to head ops, knee to room full of thugs ops, elbow to groin ops, etc. She is focused, disciplined, and intimidating to Agent K, whose Kung Ops specialty is a bit of an overlap. 

Down in Front: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Hi everybody, and welcome to a brand new segment on the blog! Andy Rash Down in Front™ reviews all the big summer movies mere weeks after opening night! So it's a great resource for movie lovers who just can't really get their act together. Today, I review Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! 

Spoiler Alert! Wherein I reveal parts of the movie that really spoiled it for me. Nevada. A refrigerator thrown by an atomic blast soars several miles and crashes to the ground. Out pops a decrepit Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), who dusts himself off and looks quizzically at several computer generated gophers who react comically to such an amusing sight. Hey kids! The way to stay safe is to lock yourself in a refrigerator! The expanding mushroom cloud over Indy's shoulder is a bit of a comedy killer, though. 

Supporting Cast Roundup! Who else was in this picture and why? Let's start with Hollywood golden boy Shia LaBeouf! He hasn't been in a movie small enough so we can find out whether or not he can act, but he ranks well above Shortround from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom as far as god-awful sidekicks go. Also along for the ride is catatonic veteran actor John Hurt, who hasn't had so little to do onscreen since he had an ovipositor down his throat in Alien. Sexy Beast Ray Winstone keeps you guessing right along with him about who his character is. The delightful Karen Allen reprises her role as the only female character from this entire series who isn't a brainless harpy, and manages to help Indy get out of some tight scrapes with escape plans that wouldn't work in a Roadrunner Cartoon. Still it's nice to see her again. The alabaster skin, piercing blue eyes, and alpine cheekbones of Cate Blanchett combine to create a visage of loveliness which could only be sullied by a concerted effort of cruel costumers and wigmasters. Darn the luck! 

Don't See It, Live It! Can't afford the exorbitant price of a ticket to the cinema? Get a job! Or just recreate the dramatic and baffling third act of this movie at home. First, get a Galadriel action figure from Lord Of the Rings (the elf Blanchett played, thanks IMDB!) and dress it up like Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard. Now set her head on fire and attempt to flush an entire bag of charcoal briquets down the toilet. It'll also help if you are drunk. Those of you who haven't seen the movie probably don't believe me that this reasonably approximates the conclusion of this film. Those of you who have seen the film are nodding sadly.

The Upshot! If you are a movie goer who loves fantasy, and can furthermore accept the notion that if you gather enough skulls together they will combine into a fully functioning living head, if that isn't too much of a logical leap for you, you cold, green-blooded Vulcan, then Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is for you!

That's all for today. Keep watching the blog for more reviews, and I'll see you Down In Front!

Agent N for TV

Hey all you people. here is another character design for the Agent A to Agent Z television project I'm working on. This is Agent N. Her specialty is Nat Ops (natural operations.) She is an expert on wilderness survival, animal wrangling, granola selecting, etc. She is seen here with a vicious guard dog. You get the idea.